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Marriage Customs of the Temuan People
- CHIN XIN MIN
- Mar 1
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 2
The Beginning of a Temuan Wedding: The Customs of Proposal
The marriage customs of the Temuan people are unique, yet share some similarities with the Malay community. In Temuan tradition, a marriage usually begins when the man (Teruna) expresses his desire to marry his beloved to his parents. Then, the groom's father will approach the bride's father to carry out a "making inquiries" (Merisik), where they discuss the potential for marriage and related details. Once both parties reach an agreement, they proceed to the "proposal" (Meminang) stage. However, with the development of modern society, many couples today already know each other before marriage, and thus the "making inquiries" step is often skipped, moving directly to the proposal stage.
Sincerity and Respect: The Profound Significance of Temuan Wedding Betrothal Gifts
The proposal typically takes place about two weeks before the wedding. Both families appoint a mediator (Wali) to represent them in communications. The groom must also prepare bride price and seven items as a betrothal gifts, including betel leaves (Sirih), areca nuts (Pinang), lime powder (Kapur), Gambier (Gambir), tobacco, matches, and two rings (either silver or rattan, depending on the couple's preference). These betrothal gift items are placed in two small baskets (Bujam) made from Mengkuang leaves (Daun Mengkuang). However, families with members holding Customary Council (Lembaga Adat) positions tend to have a higher bride price.
The rings symbolize the groom's sincerity toward marriage and his commitment to their future life together, while the other six items express respect for the bride's family. On the day of the proposal, the groom, along with his family and mediator, will go to the bride's house with the betrothal gifts. If the bride’s family accepts the proposal, they will eat the areca nut in the presence of the village chief (Tok Batin), confirming the union.
After a successful proposal, the families set an engagement date, which the mediators communicate to the Customary Council (Lembaga Adat) and oversee the engagement ceremony. The wedding date will also be confirmed after the engagement. Between the engagement and the wedding period, the groom is expected to give the bride a monthly allowance, typically between RM300 and RM400, as mutually agreed by both families.
Wedding Ceremony Rituals
The wedding ceremony of the Temuan people is the core of the marriage, and it holds great significance. The marriage is only considered legally and spiritually valid when performed by the village chief (Tok Batin). If the village chief cannot attend, the deputy village chief (Pemangku Batin) will preside. Weddings are typically held on Saturday afternoon after 2:00 PM, for two main reasons: First, to avoid overlapping with funerals, often held between 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM, as a sign of respect. Second, the time between 12:00 PM and 2:00 PM, when the sun is at its peak, is deemed inauspicious. Holding the wedding after 2:00 PM symbolizes the couple's entry into a happy and fulfilling life.
Day 1: Henna Hand-Painting Ceremony (Majlis Inai)
The night before the wedding (Friday), the couple will participate in the Henna Hand-Painting Ceremony (Majlis Inai), marking the formal confirmation of the marriage to avoid misunderstandings or interruptions. During the ceremony, friends and relatives (excluding immediate family members) apply a paste made of henna leaves, lime, and charcoal to the bride and groom’s fingers and toes (open fingers symbolize welcoming good fortune). The ceremony is conducted in silence to protect the couple from bad luck or evil spirits.
Day 2: Wedding Day and Purification Ritual
On the wedding day, the couple will undergo a purification ritual in front of the guests. They will be bathed with water infused with flowers and fragrant powders to cleanse their bodies and souls, blessing them for a harmonious marriage. The village chief and mediator will recite blessing chants for the couple. Following this, the Rebirth Ceremony (Tupat Lepas) involves untying woven leaves, symbolizing the couple’s readiness to embrace a new chapter in life.
There is also a "Bridal Throne" (Adat Bersanding), a practice influenced by Malay culture, where the couple sits side by side in the front. They will watch a martial arts (Silat) performance by guests. These performances are not only entertaining but also showcase the community's martial skills, in which all guests can participate. After the performance, performers are thanked with decorative eggs (Bunga Telur) and proceed to the "Sprinkling of Rice Blessing" (Menepung Tawar), where a mixture of rice flour (Tepung Beras), pandan leaves, and lime juice is sprinkled on the couple. The performers then throw rice grains at the guests, who must dodge them as a playful part of the ceremony, symbolizing blessings of happiness and harmony.
Day 3: Wedding Parade
On the final day of the wedding, the couple will parade through the village accompanied by relatives and friends. The ground is strewn with flowers, fragrant leaves (Daun-daun Wangi), perfume, and turmeric-dyed rice, symbolizing a royal welcome and adding an air of solemnity and festivity to the wedding. After the procession, the couple is officially announced as husband and wife, and the wedding is complete.
Wedding Taboos and Cultural Legacy
In addition to the rich rituals and blessings, the Temuan weddings also include numerous taboos. By strictly adhering to these taboos, the couple can not only avoid misfortune but also ensure the smooth progression of the wedding and a harmonious married life.
Birth Order Restrictions
According to the Temuan people's birth order hierarchy, younger siblings are not allowed to marry before their older siblings. If a younger sibling marries before the older (Langkah Bendul), they must present a gift to the elder sibling as compensation. This practice demonstrates respect for the family’s order of seniority and plays a crucial role in maintaining family harmony.
Restrictions on the Couple’s Behavior
Covering the Face to Ward Off Evil: Before wedding, the couple must cover their faces with a headscarf when leaving the house to prevent evil spirits from entering through their head.
Movement Limitations
The bride is not allowed to leave the village before the wedding, violating this rule is believed to attract evil spirits.
Food Taboos
During the wedding, the couple must avoid eating glutinous rice, as it is considered to attract evil spirits.
Restrictions on Meeting Frequency
The couple is allowed to meet only once a month before the wedding, and violations of this rule may result in punishment by the village chief, as frequent meetings are believed to lead to an unhappy marriage.
On the day before the wedding, the couple must separate and avoid meeting each other to prevent bad luck.
Nighttime Activity Taboos
The couple must not collect clothes from the yard or chat under the drying rack or stairs after sunset, as these activities are believed to affect the harmony and happiness of the marriage.
Wedding Date Selection
June and December are considered inauspicious months for weddings among the Temuan people. Marrying during these months is believed to lead to separation or an unhappy marriage.
Beyond these taboos, the wedding attire and dances are also rich in cultural significance, reflecting the Temuan people's unique ethnic identity.
Traditional Dances and Celebrations During the Wedding
Traditional performances also play an essential role in wedding celebrations, with the most representative being the Joget Lambak dance. This energetic dance, accompanied by traditional instruments like the gongs, hand drums, and also violin, creates a lively and festive atmosphere for the wedding. The dance is not limited to the bride and groom but includes family members and guests as well, regardless of age or background. Everyone can join in and experience the warmth and joy of the celebration. The wedding celebrations often continue late into the night, with guests dancing and enjoying themselves until everyone departs.
